I'm sorry to say that I orgasmed just now. I was with a friend of mine, who I have helped out from time to time when he is unable to "get any" with the girls.
After sucking him for a while he put his 7-8 inches in my boipussy. I had removed my protector as I had already had my evening shower. He stroked me and got me to the edge (trying to mkae me cum) while hitting my boi-button with his cock. I am sorry to say that I couldn't resist, and after about ten strokes of my hand in time with his thrusts my boi-balls squirted their boi-juice all over his sheets. I barely even realised that I was stroking, and I know it sounds like a cop-out and a lie, but I intended to edge and not cum. It was unscheduled and unauthorised (and unexpected).
Oddly, I don't feel very guilty, because my orgasm caused him quite a lot of pleasure (my bucking and moving when I orgasmed). I do regret, however, that my boi-hornyness is no longer there, as I had planned on that energy to get a lot of stuff done!
If I hadn't touched myself to get over the edge, this would not count as a breach of my promise. The ten strokes that took me over the edge may make this a breach, as his intention was to make me cum but he didn't quite finish. He does not know about my cum denial stuff.
To my Master, you gave me permission to fool around with him, but you didn't give me permission to cum. I expect there to be a punishment, please let me know what it is. I am sorry.
To Roland, I am so sorry if I have disappointed you.
To my readers, I apologise to you also. I really need to get to 24/7 wearing as soon as possible to protect myself against this sort of thing.
I really did not expect to cum tonight, even when my mate wanted to use me. Last time he came quickly and I didn't get to the point of losing control. I regret cumming, and I feel bad that my goal of the 8th wasn't met, but I don't feel guilt for it. I don't know if I should feel guilty for it. It happened while serving a man with the permission of my Master. I do feel guilty if my readers (especially Roland) think that I have let them down by doing this, and I have let myself down in a way.
Of course, I will not be touching myself again. I should probably also add that I am putting out feelers to try and find someone who can lend me a full belt protector in my size, to wear until I get down to my ideal sive, whereupon I will buy one.
With apologies, and a growing sense of guilt,
Lapsed, but starting to be good again,
Cody
P.S. After thinking it over, I feel really guilty and disappointed in myself. I shouldn't have touched my nub AT ALLl and I should have known that his one of jis thrusts had the ability to send me over the edge if I was in the edge and it got my boi-button just right. I didn't know but I should have guessed it!
Cody,
ReplyDeleteyou have not disappointed me, and it even did not come by surprise for me that such as described has happened - I just knew it would happen, although not exactly when and how. And as I am not your Master, I am not even angry with you about what happened.
However, my only thought about this incident is: you expose yourself way too much to other males and letting them use you to be regarded as a good boi. And this makes me worry about you. What you describe is just most slutty behaviour imo, regardless if you are or were protected or not.
Instead of feeling guilty, you should rather learn from this experience, so such will not be repeated by you. But from what I read, you enjoyed it just too much not to repeat it for the time being. But don't you fear that your potential Master could lose interest in you by such incident, even before things got really started with Him? I certainly would reconsider if I was interested in you after such report if I was Him. But as I do not know Him, I certainly cannot tell what He might think.
Again, it is your decision: do you want to be a good boi, or do you actually want to be a slutty boi with some kinks, pretending to be good thereby? Just both can have it's appeal, depending on the other person. And of course, you can fool me, and it even would not matter, as we have no relationship. But the more severe thing about that is: if you fool yourself about it, it will not work nor will it be good for yourself, at least in the long run. So become clear about yourself asap, and act accordingly. And you better do so before entering a relationship with a Master controlling you, as such could easily end in total desaster for both of you. And even more: while being in a relationship with a worthy Master, you might block Him from getting in touch with a worthy and really good boi and sure about it, but due to his loneliness comparably desperate to identify his worthy Master like you. But the main difference is: the other boi might indeed be clear about himself and truly wanting to be and stay good. The latter, I still miss about you from what I can read and understand.
Improve, become clear about yourself, and stay good, if you really want to be!
Roland